20 year old Quips

 When I started this blog, I only wanted to document the kiddos really cute, quips :) They're really smart (sometimes, could be quite a smart-a$$ in their remarks but since they are still little, it still sounded cute, so...) and their repartee often amuses us no end.  So I felt that I would want to document some of them at least.  Thus this blog came to be.  As they get older though, our conversation has evolved.  They are still quite funny but sometimes, our conversations can turn into serious ones.  And their views and/or wisdom often leave me in awe.

Today, while having lunch in an Indian restaurant and me being happy about my vegetarian choices, I told Rod many of my colleagues are also vegetarian.  

Rod: Because your work is about pursuing a passion... what you're passionate about... (The motivation) is not about money or anything.

Then for some reason we then discussed about the sector I'm in, the many changes that is happening within it and LHL.  This led us to talk about decolonizing aid.  

Rod: I get what you mean but somehow there is (an added) value on the experiences that had been had across many contexts...

Me: I agree. Still, it is high time to get started and serious about local capacity...

I briefly discussed the value of this and also talked about practicality like difficulty in access during emergency.

We grew quiet for a bit and then out of the blue I just blurted out -- "Maybe that is why I chose to be Asian and a woman at that..."

Rod: To be seen as a minority?

Me: Maybe I was white and male...

Rod: In your past life... yeah...

Me: So now, a complete turn-around... Asian and a woman...

It always amazes me how the children, particularly, Rod just get me, even if I blurt out something totally weird.  No questions, no judgment nor any side, deragatory comments.  Just acceptance and carrying on with the conversation as if we're just talking about the weather. What a gift that is! I'm grateful.

 

Maswerte Kami, Ikaw ang Nanay Namin

I was washing my face while Forest was washing up.  We were preparing to go to bed.  Quietly, as if lost in her own thoughts, Forest turned to me to say, "Masuwerte talaga kami Nay ba ikaw ang Nanay namin." (We are really lucky you are our Mother, Mum."

I was touched but also quietly replied, "Why do you think so?"  

Forest: Kasi, naa kay work, ganun.  Bright ka.  Di ka katulad ng ibang Nanay na pag di magbuhat sa work sa school, wala lang.

Me: So you mean, ga-yawyaw ko?  So it's a good thing then?

Forest: No.  Kanang magsulti gyud ka na humanon gyud ang work sa school...

Then she went out of the bathroom and the moment has passed.  

***

Earlier today we also drove Rod around.  It was supposed to be just Tatay and him.  However, a family asked that we buy thermal thermometer for them as they were being monitored.  So off I went with them.  We had to pick up a classmate, drove them to a milk tea shop, drop off a milk tea order to another classmate and another...  

The funny thing was Rod expressed he felt ashamed for taking mine and Tatay's time so he is paying Tatay the P 120 he received as payment for the milk tea he ordered for one of his classmates.  In reply I joked that said amount hardly covers the daily minimum wage.  I felt his sincerity though and felt happy about it.

We're raising kind, good kids, it seemed.  Thank you, God!

Unsaon Ma na Ron?

A few nights back, Tatay was on the bed wailing, "Forest, ang akong buhok." (Forest, my hair.) This is in reference to his hair serum that Forest is "assigned" to put on Tatay's scalp every night.  Forest, who was seated on the floor, playing with her wooden kitchen contraption whispered in reply, "Unsaon ma na ron? Wala nama'y buhok gyud?" Hahaha this kid!

More Interesting!

So I'm quite sleepy but still have to finish a report.  Forest, meanwhile, has shown interest in a book.  Khaled Hosseini's none the least.  She got started with the first page and then urged me to read to her.  I obliged but then the urgency of finishing the report is rearing it's ugly head.  Anyhow, I read a few lines and remembered how I found this particularly story poignant.  I told Forest so and as we got started, I told her, "See how interesting it is to read stories?"  Forest quickly countered, "Mas interesting pag Mom mo magbasa! (It's more interesting if it's you Mom who reads to you!)"  :P

Tatay's Secondary Custodian

Tatay was saying his goodbye to me after our skype call as he was preparing to leave.  There's no class today so he finally has some free time to attend to his business concerns.  No driving to and fro the kids today.

I smiled when I heard in the background Forest firing Tatay one question over the other:

Forest:Mag-alis ka?
Tatay: Oo
F: Saan ka?
T: Downtown
F: Umuwi ka ng maaga. Mag-gabi ka?
T: Di ko pa alam, Nak.

Hehe mas strict pa sa akin :)

For You Nanay!

Over Skype today, Forest excitedly told me, "Nanay, nag-offer ako sa Mass kanina! Dalawa kami ni Mia!"

Me: Wow! How blessed you are!

Forest: Para sa yo yun, Nay! Para gumaling ka sa sakit mo!

I feel better already, Baby Love.  You are such a blessing!

Openness (On Puberty)

I was home for a week.  It was supposed to be just a visa exit, spending an overnight outside of Dhaka.  I planned to go to Kathmandu but it did not worked out.  Then, it also turned out that I had to extend here till December.  And my passport's validity is until August only.  So I had to rush home and apply for a renewal.

It was a short 6-day bliss with the kids.  And more often than not, even if I have to go on an errand, we are all together, the children, tagging along, even Kuya Rod who, lately had to take a lot of convincing (and me resorting to drama) before he agrees to come.  Well, there was an instance wherein he asked to stay at home which was fine.

Anyway, I am digressing again. (I so love to establish context so I can remember down the line whenever my memory would desert me. I hope that won't happen soon!).

So, we were in a restaurant where Forest and I were seated across Rod and Tatay. I had a good look at Rod then and noticed the tell-tale signs of a mustache.  I remarked, "Binata ka na talaga, Kuya.  May bigote ka na." (You really are all grown-up now Kuya.  You have a mustache).

Out of curiosity I asked nonchalantly, "Do you have some, "there" already?" I have to mouthed the words as we were in a public place.  I was quite prepared for him to shut me down and throw a glare my way but he answered without missing a beat, "Yes, some. Konti. (a little)."

I was taken aback by his candidness but sure was happy as well that he trusted me well enough.  I guess it helped that I did not make so much fuss out of it.  I was aiming for that.  I do not want them to be so body conscious. I grew up that way.  It's so paralyzing in so many ways.  At the same time, I want them to be wary about whom to trust.

I've been telling Rod many times in the past that he comes to me if he had questions related to sex.  I told him not to go to peers as they could be as clueless about it and would only give him not good enough information or worse, misinformation!  He had said, "yes, yes" but I couldn't really tell if he was serious about it or is just trying to shut me down.

Now it feels good to have him totally opened up to me about things like this.  It is telling me he trusts me and is willing to be open to me on such things.

Now I'm remembering a particular incident last week where Rod was toying with his phone when out of a blue, a sound akin to a women climaxing blared out of his phone.  I was shocked and said right away, "What is that, Kuya?!"

Rod, in response was laughing so hard.  He said it was his classmate sending him a clickbait.  He showed me a link in his messenger showing a frozen video of a person hitting another.  Once he hit the play button, the sound came.  He was laughing while showing me the comments and how angry the others were and commenting the same. 

I reminded him I trust him and that he better not abuse that trust.

Kiddo's Wise Words on Finding the Right (Or the Wrong one) Partner

We were in the car the other day with the kids tagging along for last minute errands. I don’t know what prompted it but the conversation steered towards partnership. Kuya Rod I think asked the question about it. So I answered the best I could:

Me: That is why Rod, you should choose carefully. You have to pray for it. Sometimes — although I’m happy that it does not seem to be true in your case — men tend to think only of the “now” and not so much of what comes after. It is important therefore to find a woman or a partner who balances that.

Noting that Forest was listening intently, I had to add, choosing my words carefully.

M: In your case, Forest, you must take note of his temper, pag mainitin ang ulo, run a mile away from him.

Tatay: Ayaw dayon sugot, Nak!

Forest (matter-of-factly): I friend ko muna siya. Pag nakita ko bad siya, di ko na siya i-friend agad!

Hehe Tatay and I had to smile at that. We are reminded once again how we really couldn’t take for granted children’s wisdom and logic. We have a lot to learn from them. #babytales #carversations #qandawiththekiddos#exchangingwisdoms

Good news!

As soon as I answered the call, Forest: Nanay may good news ako!
Me: What good news?
F: Ako naghugas ng plato! Nilinis ko lahat ang lababo... Ang banggerahan... (I was the one who washed the plates! I cleaned the sink and the kitchen counter..)
Then she added in English: I did it all for Lola kasi nagplantsa siya. I did it all for you, Nanay!
And my heart melted right through.

Thank you, Baby. Even right at the start yor kind heart has always been very apparent. You now have your moods and sometimes even answers back when I reprimand you but always, always, you are truly kind. Nanay does it all for you all too. I love you so much!

May Takot sa Diyos (Fearing God)

A few weeks back, this convo with Forest:

Me: Simple lang naman ang gusto ni Nanay, Anak. That we have what we need and maybe a few wants and that lumaki kayo na mababait at may takot sa Diyos. (Nanay has simple wants, Anak.  That we have what we need and maybe a few wants.  And that you grow up to be kind and God-fearing)

Forest: Bakit, Nay? (Why, Nay?)

M: Aling bakit? (What do you mean, why?)

F: Di ba baliktad? Bakit matakot sa Diyos? Di ba ang bad lang ang dapat matakot sa Diyos, Nay?

Ay oo nga naman! Tameme na naman si Nanay. (Isn't it odd? Why fear God? Isn't it that only bad people fear God? Isn't it, Nanay?)

#BabyTales #Forest

Split Personality!

Intent on learning how to split, (we don’t know why) Forest executed the stretching exercise Tatay taught her. She did so with matching breathing which is entirely her own. (We wonder where she got that from.)

After some time, trying on the dhanurasana-like pose she turned to me and asked, “Nanay kung gawin ko ito, makatulong din siya sa pag split noh? Kasi stretching pa man din?”

She had this “thinking deeply” expression on her face. As I nodded my assent, I can’t help but notice she had good logic. As I was silently cheering myself up for having such a smart kid, Forest then stood up and gleefully clapped her hands and said, “Yehey! Masuwerte talaga ako! Matalino ang Nanay ko tapos ang Tatay ko maraming... alam na gawa!”

And she had to hesitate at what her Tatay knows best 😂 But I knew she was aiming for distinction 🙂 Smart kid indeed! And yes, ma-action talaga si Tatay, Forest! Haha! 😁😂 #babytales #amazing7yroldlogic#conversationswiththekiddos

Reading with the Nose

After our nightly ritual and reading Forest her story, I picked up my own book and read, courting sleep.

After a while, Forest turned to me and asked, “Bakit hindi gumagalaw ang bibig mo, Nay while reading? Bakit?” (Why is your mouth not moving when you read, Nay? Why not?)

I turned to her and said it’s because I’m reading with my eyes.

Forest: Yes, and your brain...
Me: That’s right.
F: And your nose!
M (raising an eyebrow at her): No...
F: Why, don’t you breathe when you read?!

Ay, oo nga naman! Matalinong bata! 😂😂😂

On Screen Time, Mothering, and Baking

Started the day with a good hour lecturing (fighting with) Rod why he’s better off spending time interacting with us or walking or playing outside than being glued to his phone watching YouTube.

It was quite a drama which included my being accused of not wanting him to be happy; to me, giving him a definition of what true happiness means. There was also a point where he did he’s unlucky to have ended up with a parent like me. I observed myself whether I was stung by it or not. I wasn’t really. I know Rod so well And for all our arguments and epic wars, I am quite secure where his love for me is concerned. I know he’s only saying things out of spite, to regain control over the situation and assert what he wants. So I had to tell him about my life, how clear things are with me where my wants, goals and direction  are concerned. I told him, I  quite happy and proud of my work. I see meaning in it. I am grateful to be doing what I want and I wouldn’t want it in any other way. I told him I wouldn’t have known about these things had I spent my teenage years being glued to the screen. I told him now that he’s 12, it’s high time for him to start thinking about these things. I said he may hate me now but he would thank me later. Of course he said he would not be thankful later. He’s at that stage after all.

I ended my “lecture” by telling him I just want him to be fully equipped y the time he gets to the world out there. He would be on his own. Most of the time that is. I don’t want him so totally out of touch of his feelings just because he spent a good part of his teenage years being glued to his done, absorbing external things.

To take his mind off the gadget,  I asked him to accompany me to the hardware for the paints needed by those working on the house.  Since he won’t lend me some loose change, I said we had to walk home then. Quite rebellious as he is, he ended up walking the other way. Half-way through my walk, a tricycle met me with him in it haha! He can’t abandon his Mom after all which is quite reassuring. And yes, deep down he does love me after all.

Oh the photos?  Haha! That’s me, baking after, experimenting with using healthier alternatives of pink salt and honey over regular salt and white sugar. It’s a chocolate chip kind of banana cake though so not exactly THAT healthy.

Had to make Rod choose between having to bake or washing up after breakfast. He opted the latter since Lola has already started haaaaay!

So yeah that’s how my morning is so far. For now Rod and I are agreeing on what time he really started with the fone. He’s on his two hour limit today. Sigh!!!

#raisingateenageson
#battleoverscreentime
#lectureseriesonlivingameaningfullifethansittingooneaassgluedtothescreen
#motheringateenagesonmeanslonghashtags hahaha!

Update: he’s currently working at what he’s beat at, at home — fixing the salad and being too OC about it that he makes sure the albums underneath the coffee table are perfectly aligned hahaha! Someone’s taking after Nanay :)

Of course

Shared an intimate moment with Rod today, of which I am truly grateful.  It's been awhile since we had a little of the heart to heart talk.  Out of the blue he told me that he doesn't think that taking on "Entrepreneurship" (as a major) is a good thing as it might prove pretty useless since he doesn't have a business venture. It came out of nowhere but same as every conversation we have, everything just flowed and is effortless.  I told him why not as his Tatay have a business.  He could take it on.  He told me he is not so sure about that.  I'm thinking he must meant he's not sure whether that is where his interest lay.

I told him, follow where his passion lay.  I reminded him about how he was as a kid, renting out his Disney DVDs and having managed to sell his "drawings" and doodles to other kids for 5 pesos! Haha!  That made him laugh.  And then he asked if he could change his mind if he finds out it's not for him.  In a heartbeat I told him, "Yes, of course."  Without hesitation. I felt he would need that reassurance and that it is more important than my worrying about "wasted time" and further "resource requirement" which actually translates to monetary constraints.  But then again, no "unfolding" is wasted time.  If Rod needs more time (and yes resources too) to help him better  "define" himself then so be it.  I trust that the universe will just "supply" everything else.

That whole conversation provided me an insight as well as to how I am as a mom.  That I did not hesitate at all in telling him that of course it is alright, was a bit of a revelation for myself as well.  I love my son.  Every situation that unfolds between us is showing me just how much and  the things that I can do/ decide on out of that love.

Right now, I'm learning that currently, I'm defining maternal love as being able to open possibilities for my children.  Isn't that why I work so hard?  Why I take on certain sacrifices and affording myself some opportunities as well.  The former, in order to save enough so as not to water down their dreams just because we have financial constraints.  The latter, in order to demonstrate what chasing after a dream looks like; that it's perfectly alright to also pursue one's passion and to make things happen for oneself; that, that certain balance can be achieved if one just remain steadfast, focused and works hard.

I am not a perfect parent.  I am privileged as well to have an able and very enabling partner; and steady support system as my Mom and the entire family. Things are easy for me because I'm loved and love flows to me from different channels.  This enables me as well to give back/ spread love in return. It's a never ending cycle.  And what a wonderful cycle to be in.  And I am humbled by this all.  So grateful. Thank you, God.

Thank You!

Just as we boarded the ferry, the engine indicator lit up so Tatay had to switch off the AC just to make sure we don't get stuck or something. Leaving the pier and a little further away, Tatay decided not to risk it and asked that the Lola's, Aunts and the kids take the taxi's instead in going home. He and I will then take the car to the shop. Rod muttered, "Thank you, Lord."

I had to ask him what the "thank you" is for. He replied, "Kasi mainit na masyado (because it had become too hot to travel) so He made a way to make it better for us. Taxi it is!" Hahaha! I think a little of my "lectures" on always looking at the positive side of things is finally rubbing off on him hehehe What great sense of humour this kid has though. Mana sa Tatay talaga!

The Dress

I arrived a few days before Forest's "Bridge Ceremony" in school.  It was the main reason I went home.  I wouldn't miss it for the world.  It's a very important milestone not just for us for the entire family:  our little one is transitioning from kindergarten to grade school.

The first thing we did when I arrived then was to go and buy her dress. We actually ended up buying her "very interesting" shoes first but that's another story.  

So anyway, we bought the dress (and the shoes) and everything else and then went home.  There were a lot of dresses to choose from.  It should be white so the choices we had were from really simple ones to lacy, glittery frivolous one.  We opted for the former.  It was an eyelet number that comes with a tiny, white leather belt.  It was simple but expensive just the same.  So when we got home, I jokingly said, "I never had a dress this expensive when I was 6 years old!"  Then Forest's quick reply, "Kay wala man kuwarta imong Mama!" That made us all laugh including Mama.  It's more of how quickly she made the deduction and not the interpretation really.

When I sobered up, i realised I had to correct her. I told her Lola had a lot of money then but she chose to spend it wisely.  I told her, most of Lola's money went to Nanay's school.  Indeed.  Thank you, Ma!

I love you very much Too, Rod!

Got this messenger message from Rod:

Miss ka na rin namin

Bukas meron ng wifi

Pray mamaya pero wag gabi na masyado

Love you very much nay

Conversations with the Kiddos (over the phone but it was heavenly just the same)

So I found out from Tatay that tomorrow, he, Forest and Mama would be on a "great excursion."  They would be hunting for Rod's most coveted "coinbank."  It turned out, he was crying the whole time the night before because he wanted one.  And that he, Lola, Forest and Ate Janin were  out last weekend where the two girls got to go home with new shoes in tow.  He, however, did not get to buy any because Lola ran out of cash.  (Because Forest got two pairs of shoes! And they found his coinbank at the last minute).  So tomorrow, Forest would act as guide since aparently, she is the only one who can tell where the coinbank can be found. Lola could not remember anymore.  

Then I found out the thing cost around $12 USD.  I was like, "what?!"  How ironic could that be?  Buying something to help you save but is also expensive at the same time!  So I had a pep talk with Kuya.  I told him to think it over. Our conversation went this way:

Me:  Kuya, are you sure you want to buy that?  Isn't it a big expensive for a coinbank?  Why not buy something a lot cheaper and then save the rest of the money?

Rod (in a quiet voice): Gusto ko kasi talaga siya, Nay.  Iba kasi siya, pag ihulog mo yung coin may maglabas na cat. (I really like it, Mom.  When you drop a coin inside it, a cat comes out of the thing.)

Me:  Yeah, I get that but isn't it insanely expensive though?  Can you think it over? You think it over, you still might change your mind.  After a while, you'd get tired of it anyway.

Rod: Inisip ko na talaga siya, Nay.  

Very quietly, he added, "Gusto ko talaga siya, Nay."

Me:  Yeah, but still think it over,  It's too expensive and Lola's money should not be wasted that way.  She should use it to buy stuff for herself.  She worked hard for that money.  She deserves to spend it on things she likes for herself.  And she's old, Rod.  What if she gets sick? Do you get me?

Rod: Yes, Nay.  Gusto ko talaga siya. 

Me:  Okay if you and Lola have agreed on it already.  But this would be the last time you'd ask her for something this expensive, do you get me?

Rod: Opo.  

Then as if he remembered something suddenly, he quickly added, "Si Forest gani.  Nagpapabili kay Lola ng dollhouse sa birthday niya na tag 1,200 pesos!"

I nearly fell off my seat! It turned out it her request for her birthday.  Lola's gift.  I launched again on my "it's-too-much" speech. Really, these kids, without me there, they're getting very much spoiled.  

Forest then asked to take the phone so she can talk to me.  

Forest: Sa birthday ko, Nay. Di ba nandito ka na?

Me:  Oh, so sorry, Anak. I won't be.  I will be home for your graduation and then we can celebrate your birthday early.  Just you, me, Kuya, Ate Janin, Lola, Tatay...

Forest:  Ay! Gusto ko andiyan ang mga pinsan ko. Si Kirk, si Mia.... para masaya, Nay! Gusto ko may handa! Gusto ko may birthday party!

I'm like, "Oh my gas!" :)

 

Wi-fi

We forgot about paying our landline bill on time.  As a consequence, our line was temporarily cut.  Tatay and I were thinking it might be good to go without WI-FI momentarily to curb the children's dependence to it.  In fairness, Rod's phone is "confiscated" from Sunday afternoon to Thursday night. He gets to enjoy it only on the weekends.  However, when he does have his phone, he is glued to it all day.

So, after two  days of having no WI-FI.  I got this Skype message from Rod (they were at Lola Fely's house at that time thus the connection):

Rod: Nay mag padala ka gud ng pera kay tatay wala ng wifi kaya hindi ka na namin ma tawagan.

I did not answer him instead asked him how he was as he was recently sick.  I asked how his exam was and whether he had to be absent.  He answered me each time but then kept at it again:

Rod:  Nay kailan maka bayad ng wifi.

Since I apparently could not escape the inevitable,I just told him, "Di ko alam anak... wala pa akong pera.  Baka sa katapusan pa.  Kumusta ka na?"

Rod: Oct 31 bala ka hindi ka na namin ma tawagan hanggang oct 31.

We got cut off momentarily and then I just to have a talk with Mama Fely who was celebrating her birthday.

Then in true, Rod fashion, he persisted, "Nay mag bili ka ng maraming notebooks at pencil tapos hindi ka maka bayad ng wifi."  This surely made me laugh.  He was pertaining to the outreach activity we are donating to.  I had to tell him that the notebooks and pencils were much cheaper.  To which he only added, "Bayaran mo na lang gud ang wifi."  Hehe! Such persistence!

Conversation with the Kiddos

Rod: Nanay, naka save na ako ng 100
Me: Wow! Well-done! Try to keep it safe why don't you deposit it to your account? Di bale pagkauwi ko, I will double what you've saved and deposit it.
R: Di ba, Nay, gamitin ko man siya sa bakasyon natin?

I have told them that they better save if they want to buy something for themselves during our vacation. I told them all of Nanay's money would be used up for plane fares and  hotel stay.

M: Yeah, it's still better to keep it safe though. So you won't be tempted to spend it.

R: Okay.

M: Kumusta school, Anak? Nahirapan ka na ba sa Math mo? Do you need a tutor now? I'll get my salary in September pa. I might be able to enroll you by then to e-nopi.

R: Mahirap na ng konti. Di bale, Nay, ma gets ko lang man din yun.

M: (Feeling my heart expand) You don't know how happy you made me, Rod. So proud of you.

R: Thank you. (Nag thank you pa hehe)

R: Nanay, tanong ko lang ha? Kelan mo ko mabilhan ng film sa camera ko? (He has an instamagic, a prize he asked for, for being an honor student last school year)

N: Naku, Anak, wala pa man pera si Nanay. Baka first week of September pa. May bills pa nga tayo na unpaid pa. I'll ask Tatay if he has money from the shop, I can borrow.

R: Okay lang man, Nay. Kahit matagal pa. Don't worry about it. Okay lang man sa akin.

Forest: Nanay...
M: Yes, Anak? I miss you so much!
F: Gusto na kita mayakap.
M: (Totally speechless and tears stung my eyes)
F: Miss na kita.
M: Ako rin, Anak. Miss na miss na kita. Di bale, uwi ako soon.
F: Gusto na kita mayakap ng totoo...

What do you say to that? ;(

I'm grateful everyday for having such loving, wonderful, smart kids. Truly God's blessing. I miss you everyday.