Split Personality!

Intent on learning how to split, (we don’t know why) Forest executed the stretching exercise Tatay taught her. She did so with matching breathing which is entirely her own. (We wonder where she got that from.)

After some time, trying on the dhanurasana-like pose she turned to me and asked, “Nanay kung gawin ko ito, makatulong din siya sa pag split noh? Kasi stretching pa man din?”

She had this “thinking deeply” expression on her face. As I nodded my assent, I can’t help but notice she had good logic. As I was silently cheering myself up for having such a smart kid, Forest then stood up and gleefully clapped her hands and said, “Yehey! Masuwerte talaga ako! Matalino ang Nanay ko tapos ang Tatay ko maraming... alam na gawa!”

And she had to hesitate at what her Tatay knows best 😂 But I knew she was aiming for distinction 🙂 Smart kid indeed! And yes, ma-action talaga si Tatay, Forest! Haha! 😁😂 #babytales #amazing7yroldlogic#conversationswiththekiddos

Reading with the Nose

After our nightly ritual and reading Forest her story, I picked up my own book and read, courting sleep.

After a while, Forest turned to me and asked, “Bakit hindi gumagalaw ang bibig mo, Nay while reading? Bakit?” (Why is your mouth not moving when you read, Nay? Why not?)

I turned to her and said it’s because I’m reading with my eyes.

Forest: Yes, and your brain...
Me: That’s right.
F: And your nose!
M (raising an eyebrow at her): No...
F: Why, don’t you breathe when you read?!

Ay, oo nga naman! Matalinong bata! 😂😂😂

On Screen Time, Mothering, and Baking

Started the day with a good hour lecturing (fighting with) Rod why he’s better off spending time interacting with us or walking or playing outside than being glued to his phone watching YouTube.

It was quite a drama which included my being accused of not wanting him to be happy; to me, giving him a definition of what true happiness means. There was also a point where he did he’s unlucky to have ended up with a parent like me. I observed myself whether I was stung by it or not. I wasn’t really. I know Rod so well And for all our arguments and epic wars, I am quite secure where his love for me is concerned. I know he’s only saying things out of spite, to regain control over the situation and assert what he wants. So I had to tell him about my life, how clear things are with me where my wants, goals and direction  are concerned. I told him, I  quite happy and proud of my work. I see meaning in it. I am grateful to be doing what I want and I wouldn’t want it in any other way. I told him I wouldn’t have known about these things had I spent my teenage years being glued to the screen. I told him now that he’s 12, it’s high time for him to start thinking about these things. I said he may hate me now but he would thank me later. Of course he said he would not be thankful later. He’s at that stage after all.

I ended my “lecture” by telling him I just want him to be fully equipped y the time he gets to the world out there. He would be on his own. Most of the time that is. I don’t want him so totally out of touch of his feelings just because he spent a good part of his teenage years being glued to his done, absorbing external things.

To take his mind off the gadget,  I asked him to accompany me to the hardware for the paints needed by those working on the house.  Since he won’t lend me some loose change, I said we had to walk home then. Quite rebellious as he is, he ended up walking the other way. Half-way through my walk, a tricycle met me with him in it haha! He can’t abandon his Mom after all which is quite reassuring. And yes, deep down he does love me after all.

Oh the photos?  Haha! That’s me, baking after, experimenting with using healthier alternatives of pink salt and honey over regular salt and white sugar. It’s a chocolate chip kind of banana cake though so not exactly THAT healthy.

Had to make Rod choose between having to bake or washing up after breakfast. He opted the latter since Lola has already started haaaaay!

So yeah that’s how my morning is so far. For now Rod and I are agreeing on what time he really started with the fone. He’s on his two hour limit today. Sigh!!!

#raisingateenageson
#battleoverscreentime
#lectureseriesonlivingameaningfullifethansittingooneaassgluedtothescreen
#motheringateenagesonmeanslonghashtags hahaha!

Update: he’s currently working at what he’s beat at, at home — fixing the salad and being too OC about it that he makes sure the albums underneath the coffee table are perfectly aligned hahaha! Someone’s taking after Nanay :)

Of course

Shared an intimate moment with Rod today, of which I am truly grateful.  It's been awhile since we had a little of the heart to heart talk.  Out of the blue he told me that he doesn't think that taking on "Entrepreneurship" (as a major) is a good thing as it might prove pretty useless since he doesn't have a business venture. It came out of nowhere but same as every conversation we have, everything just flowed and is effortless.  I told him why not as his Tatay have a business.  He could take it on.  He told me he is not so sure about that.  I'm thinking he must meant he's not sure whether that is where his interest lay.

I told him, follow where his passion lay.  I reminded him about how he was as a kid, renting out his Disney DVDs and having managed to sell his "drawings" and doodles to other kids for 5 pesos! Haha!  That made him laugh.  And then he asked if he could change his mind if he finds out it's not for him.  In a heartbeat I told him, "Yes, of course."  Without hesitation. I felt he would need that reassurance and that it is more important than my worrying about "wasted time" and further "resource requirement" which actually translates to monetary constraints.  But then again, no "unfolding" is wasted time.  If Rod needs more time (and yes resources too) to help him better  "define" himself then so be it.  I trust that the universe will just "supply" everything else.

That whole conversation provided me an insight as well as to how I am as a mom.  That I did not hesitate at all in telling him that of course it is alright, was a bit of a revelation for myself as well.  I love my son.  Every situation that unfolds between us is showing me just how much and  the things that I can do/ decide on out of that love.

Right now, I'm learning that currently, I'm defining maternal love as being able to open possibilities for my children.  Isn't that why I work so hard?  Why I take on certain sacrifices and affording myself some opportunities as well.  The former, in order to save enough so as not to water down their dreams just because we have financial constraints.  The latter, in order to demonstrate what chasing after a dream looks like; that it's perfectly alright to also pursue one's passion and to make things happen for oneself; that, that certain balance can be achieved if one just remain steadfast, focused and works hard.

I am not a perfect parent.  I am privileged as well to have an able and very enabling partner; and steady support system as my Mom and the entire family. Things are easy for me because I'm loved and love flows to me from different channels.  This enables me as well to give back/ spread love in return. It's a never ending cycle.  And what a wonderful cycle to be in.  And I am humbled by this all.  So grateful. Thank you, God.

Thank You!

Just as we boarded the ferry, the engine indicator lit up so Tatay had to switch off the AC just to make sure we don't get stuck or something. Leaving the pier and a little further away, Tatay decided not to risk it and asked that the Lola's, Aunts and the kids take the taxi's instead in going home. He and I will then take the car to the shop. Rod muttered, "Thank you, Lord."

I had to ask him what the "thank you" is for. He replied, "Kasi mainit na masyado (because it had become too hot to travel) so He made a way to make it better for us. Taxi it is!" Hahaha! I think a little of my "lectures" on always looking at the positive side of things is finally rubbing off on him hehehe What great sense of humour this kid has though. Mana sa Tatay talaga!

The Dress

I arrived a few days before Forest's "Bridge Ceremony" in school.  It was the main reason I went home.  I wouldn't miss it for the world.  It's a very important milestone not just for us for the entire family:  our little one is transitioning from kindergarten to grade school.

The first thing we did when I arrived then was to go and buy her dress. We actually ended up buying her "very interesting" shoes first but that's another story.  

So anyway, we bought the dress (and the shoes) and everything else and then went home.  There were a lot of dresses to choose from.  It should be white so the choices we had were from really simple ones to lacy, glittery frivolous one.  We opted for the former.  It was an eyelet number that comes with a tiny, white leather belt.  It was simple but expensive just the same.  So when we got home, I jokingly said, "I never had a dress this expensive when I was 6 years old!"  Then Forest's quick reply, "Kay wala man kuwarta imong Mama!" That made us all laugh including Mama.  It's more of how quickly she made the deduction and not the interpretation really.

When I sobered up, i realised I had to correct her. I told her Lola had a lot of money then but she chose to spend it wisely.  I told her, most of Lola's money went to Nanay's school.  Indeed.  Thank you, Ma!

I love you very much Too, Rod!

Got this messenger message from Rod:

Miss ka na rin namin

Bukas meron ng wifi

Pray mamaya pero wag gabi na masyado

Love you very much nay

Conversations with the Kiddos (over the phone but it was heavenly just the same)

So I found out from Tatay that tomorrow, he, Forest and Mama would be on a "great excursion."  They would be hunting for Rod's most coveted "coinbank."  It turned out, he was crying the whole time the night before because he wanted one.  And that he, Lola, Forest and Ate Janin were  out last weekend where the two girls got to go home with new shoes in tow.  He, however, did not get to buy any because Lola ran out of cash.  (Because Forest got two pairs of shoes! And they found his coinbank at the last minute).  So tomorrow, Forest would act as guide since aparently, she is the only one who can tell where the coinbank can be found. Lola could not remember anymore.  

Then I found out the thing cost around $12 USD.  I was like, "what?!"  How ironic could that be?  Buying something to help you save but is also expensive at the same time!  So I had a pep talk with Kuya.  I told him to think it over. Our conversation went this way:

Me:  Kuya, are you sure you want to buy that?  Isn't it a big expensive for a coinbank?  Why not buy something a lot cheaper and then save the rest of the money?

Rod (in a quiet voice): Gusto ko kasi talaga siya, Nay.  Iba kasi siya, pag ihulog mo yung coin may maglabas na cat. (I really like it, Mom.  When you drop a coin inside it, a cat comes out of the thing.)

Me:  Yeah, I get that but isn't it insanely expensive though?  Can you think it over? You think it over, you still might change your mind.  After a while, you'd get tired of it anyway.

Rod: Inisip ko na talaga siya, Nay.  

Very quietly, he added, "Gusto ko talaga siya, Nay."

Me:  Yeah, but still think it over,  It's too expensive and Lola's money should not be wasted that way.  She should use it to buy stuff for herself.  She worked hard for that money.  She deserves to spend it on things she likes for herself.  And she's old, Rod.  What if she gets sick? Do you get me?

Rod: Yes, Nay.  Gusto ko talaga siya. 

Me:  Okay if you and Lola have agreed on it already.  But this would be the last time you'd ask her for something this expensive, do you get me?

Rod: Opo.  

Then as if he remembered something suddenly, he quickly added, "Si Forest gani.  Nagpapabili kay Lola ng dollhouse sa birthday niya na tag 1,200 pesos!"

I nearly fell off my seat! It turned out it her request for her birthday.  Lola's gift.  I launched again on my "it's-too-much" speech. Really, these kids, without me there, they're getting very much spoiled.  

Forest then asked to take the phone so she can talk to me.  

Forest: Sa birthday ko, Nay. Di ba nandito ka na?

Me:  Oh, so sorry, Anak. I won't be.  I will be home for your graduation and then we can celebrate your birthday early.  Just you, me, Kuya, Ate Janin, Lola, Tatay...

Forest:  Ay! Gusto ko andiyan ang mga pinsan ko. Si Kirk, si Mia.... para masaya, Nay! Gusto ko may handa! Gusto ko may birthday party!

I'm like, "Oh my gas!" :)